This year’s poetry response, “Monologue for Saint Louis” by Colleen McElroy, was a highly accessible poem for students. I was excited to score this response since I am from St. Louis and am familiar with the area that her poem mentions. This poem reminded me of the poem “Black Walnut Tree” that appeared on the 2013 exam, and even “Blackberry Picking” from the 1999 exam. Similar poems about place and how that place changes over time for the speaker.
What students did well:
Thesis: As a whole, students did an admirable job answering the prompt with a defensible claim. Most students recognized either the speaker longing for the past or experiencing bittersweet emotions upon returning home. The stronger thesis statements included a clear line of reasoning or made a connection to ideas, including sacrifices and regrets. From my scoring, very few students failed to earn this point.
Commentary and Evidence
Students who earned 3-4 points had not just a grasp on the subject of the poem but were also able to explain how one or more literary element supported their claim(s). Students focused on elements such as alliteration, symbolism, juxtaposition, and tone. Those students who earned the 4th point in row B were able to discuss multiple devices and were able to move beyond the why, but rather explain how multiple devices supported the various claims. Student essays in the upper half were also clearly organized (established a clear and explicit line of reasoning) and focused on 2-3 ideas. In other words, these students recognized shifts in tone, two ways the returning home impacted the speaker, or two different emotions of returning home.
Sophistication
The most common way students earned this point this year was with vivid and persuasive writing or by connecting the poem to a broader context. For instance, some of the stronger responses I read recognized the racial elements embedded or how the speaker’s home changed due to changes in society.
Where students can improve:
Thesis
Though more students earned this point than did not, many of the lower-half responses simply paraphrased the prompt or restated it in the opening paragraph rather than answer the prompt. I also read essays where students assumed listing devices was a defensible claim or restating the words “contemplates” and “changed” without explicitly stating how she or STL changed and what she is contemplating.
Commentary and Evidence
Because it was an accessible poem, students had much to say this year. I read so many multiple-paragraph responses that earned 2 points in Row B; however, these student essays often summarized the meaning of the poem or a device, or simply relied on “this proves statements” (“the imagery helps us empathize with the speaker”). These essays had the skeleton of an upper-half essay, but couldn’t quite succinctly or explicitly explain why or how the poet used a particular device. These essays lacked a line of reasoning, and many of these essays waited until the end of the response to make a defensible claim or put the thesis in the middle or end of a body paragraph. By waiting until the end, these essays often lacked a clear focus or line of reasoning. Many of these responses also lacked transitions, not just between paragraphs, but also between ideas within paragraphs.
Sophistication
More than in previous years, I read so many responses where students made more of an attempt to earn the sophistication point, especially trying to situate the argument within a broader context; however, often these responses made these profound observations only in the introduction or conclusion, but not throughout the entire response. Students need to remember to discuss their sophisticated ideas throughout the response and not just in one body paragraph, or wait until the end.
Teaching points/extensions for the classroom:
–The essays organized by insights seemed to score the highest. These essays focused on 2-3 insights explored within the poem and used transitions to connect the complexities explored. Recognizing ideas/topics explored is a great way to begin the year, as it allows students to find those complexities within a work. I also like working with ideas or topics explored because it allows students to practice working with a line of reasoning and recognizing the layers within a poem as they begin to recognize how a poem moves and how a poem has complexity (I say call it a literal and metaphorical train). The Bedford “Literature and Composition” has a great chapter about having students identify various topics/ideas while reading. It’s a great resource.
Transitions! Those students who used transitions within their body paragraphs always seemed to score higher than those who did not (another device that establishes…). I also noticed that students who established a line of reasoning within their introductory paragraph and/or thesis presented a more organized essay and presented their argument with confidence and clarity. I did not always agree with some assessments of the poem; however, students who were able to use transitions and see layers within the poem often scored high regardless of their interpretation. I like to provide students with a list of 30 transitions at the beginning of the year, and we spend the first month workshopping how to use the best transition to move an argument forward.
–I also recommend the SAP (subject/attitude/purpose) method of reading a poem. I found that responses that immediately and confidently identified the subject (literal and symbolic) and attitudes were more successful than students who tiptoed around the poem. I pair the SAP method with FIT (facts/interpretation/tone) to remind students that the ultimate purpose of their response is to explain why the poet uses a device and how that device (evidence) reveals the speaker’s attitude. I first have students work with SAP to demystify reading poetry, and then work in FIT as students begin making written arguments about a poem. As they begin writing, SAP becomes a student’s thesis and topic sentences, and FIT becomes their body paragraphs. I always like to simplify as much as I can, and my students continually return to these acronyms when we discuss poetry and write about it.
-Reach out to me (choatedavid@rsdmo.org) if you want PowerPoints or handouts that I use to teach poetry.
David Choate has been teaching English for 22 years. This was his 13th year to attend the AP reading and his 8th year to score the poetry question. He lives in St. Louis, MO, with his wife and three children, ages 11, 13, and 15. His hobbies include being a soccer dad, reading, seeing concerts, and writing bad poetry for his students.
