Written by Adrian Nester and Margaret Porter

Once the prompts were released, Thomas and Olga were the main topic of discussion for students who got this version of the exam. The immediate observations were that students 1) didn’t use the footnotes 2) just did not know what to say about the passage. It seemed that it was hard for them to find the complexity in this quick morning scene. 

Based on those first reactions, I would not be surprised if Q2 was the lowest scoring essay this year, but that remains to be seen. Indeed, there were many responses that merely summarized or skimmed along the surface of analysis, but then there were those responses that really saw the complexity in forty-one-year-old Thomas (who was also referred to as “elderly” and in “old-age” quite a bit) and his questioning of the artificial versus authenticity. 

Misreads: For this prompt, misreads were a big deal due to not reading footnotes. It seems that the College Board is making shifts to using footnotes more liberally, so students need practice with using the footnotes and not skipping their importance. 

Misreads were judged based on if they were minor, pervasive, or somewhere in between. If it was just a passing reference to Olga being his daughter–then no big deal. However, if the whole argument was about the marital relationship and the student read Olga as the wife, then that was a problem. Readers had to basically ignore sentences/paragraphs where the misread really affected the line of reasoning or the support for the line of reasoning and just reward students for what was left. 

Thesis: There are really two camps here. To use devices in a thesis statement or to not use devices? Well, it depends on what the writer wants to do. 

Generally speaking, the best essays did not include devices in thesis statements. There were many, many 0-0-0 awarded for something like the following template:

In Bradshaw Variations, Rachel Cusk uses _____, ______, and ______ to develop a complex portrayal of Thomas. These blanks might be filled with metaphor, simile, imagery, or point of view, but never addressed HOW Thomas was complex. 

The best essays used 1-2 sentences to really answer the prompt and establish a line of reasoning with no devices mentioned. A major advantage of typing allows students to easily go back and add to their thesis (if needed) in the last 4-5 minutes of the time limit. This is much stronger than having that final insight just hanging out in the conclusion which gives the appearance of not fully supporting the line of reasoning. 

Successful students identified Thomas’s complex portrayal without merely restating the prompt; for instance, a lot of students mentioned his introspection or philosophical thinking. The higher-scoring essays stated Thomas’s inner turmoil in the thesis, either regarding his interest in Olga, his hypocrisy, or his paralysis due to overthinking. 

Evidence and Commentary 

Many students were able to successfully score a 1-3-0 easily with a thesis statement that addresses Thomas’ complexity and then 2-3 chunky paragraphs about a device/technique and HOW it supports the thesis/claim/line of reasoning. The HOW and WHY does it matter really have to be the star of these paragraphs, though. 

Essays that earned a 1-4-0 or higher were most often organized by insight…maybe mentioning a different technique/device in each paragraph, but really focusing on the nuances of their argument and what it REVEALS about the character(s).

Students need to know the form of their writing is a literary analysis. It’s formal in tone and to-the-point. It’s not a review (some students said things like “Cusk masterfully depicted Thomas”). As the passage is open to different logical interpretations, the verbs for analysis such as “demonstrates,” “indicates,” or “suggests,” suffice. As a literary analysis, it is important to be as clear as possible throughout. Every sentence should further the argument (no fluff). 

Encourage students to find SOMETHING to say about how the last paragraph/phrase/sentence really connects to the thesis statement/line of reasoning in their conclusions. These are excerpts, and there has to be a reason why the passage has been cut off at this point. Students who clearly read carefully to the end of the passage scored higher and were less likely to misinterpret the excerpt. 

Sophistication 

There are four pathways to achieve sophistication. Tensions (internal and external) are already a main feature of this text, so attempts to use this pathway would really have to have a sustained and nuanced look at tensions. Attempts to situate the essay into the broader context of AI or the financial crisis of 2007 fell flat. Only once did I see it work with a connection to AI through the lens of the debate between art and authenticity in a closing paragraph of an already strong essay. 

In the introduction, some general sentences before the thesis sentence work well on getting to the broader context, especially if the idea is woven throughout and in the conclusion. However, many of these broad sentences restate parts of the prompt, or are obvious statements (something like, “Mornings can be a difficult time to engage with others”), and therefore add nothing to the essay. If students are not comfortable with the introduction statements, they should start with the thesis and move on to body paragraphs. Just focusing on a solid argument with clear analysis could still get them the sophistication point.

Odd observations: A fully digital exam led students to try some new things like copying and pasting the same paragraph over and over to make the essay appear longer. Yeah, that doesn’t work. 

More than a few times students were unsuccessfully comparing Thomas to characters in novels (ex. Thomas and Mildred in Fahrenheit 451 = monotonous lives) which really made for weird, disjointed conclusions. This is not a good use of time nor does it support the line of reasoning or make a move towards sophistication. An off-hand reference to a novel for 1-2 sentences is not what the rubric means by “broader context.”

Teaching points/extensions for the classroom:

Bradshaw Variations is an accessible passage that I plan to use early in the year. This will be a good time to zoom in on writing solid thesis statements that indicate a line of reasoning. It is a good practice to read the rubric scoring notes, especially with the examples and non-examples of thesis statements. This is also a great tool for self-reflection. Finally, the forthcoming Chief Reader notes are an excellent resource for both teachers and students. 

Adrian Nester teaches AP Lit and AP Lang at Tunstall High School in southern Virginia. She served as a distributed table leader again this year with a wonderful group of eleven hardworking teachers and professors. One of those readers, Margaret Porter, AP Lit teacher in Butler, MO, contributed heavily to these reflections. (Margaret’s picture will be posted soon).