Meeting Father Declan

Written by Jill Massey and Cindy Dixon

(Jill) The prose FRQ of the AP Literature Exam can be quite intimidating for students, so upon familiarizing myself with this prompt (which my own students did not respond to). Grading Q2 for this year’s “Set 2” was a real joy.

(Cindy) After a week of reading, scoring, and discussing thousands of essays, I’m leaving the 2025 AP Literature Reading with a renewed sense of purpose and a deeper appreciation for what students are capable of achieving. This year’s prose fiction analysis prompt invited students to analyze how Jeannette Haien develops a complex portrayal of Father Declan, an aging Irish priest driving home after a fishing trip. The excerpt from The All of It was reflective and layered—subtle in tone, yet rich with emotional complexity and interior tension.

This passage offered students multiple ways to enter the text. Most of them noticed Declan’s loneliness; others picked up on his questioning of what’s appropriate for a priest, or his dreamlike consideration of companionship. These weren’t always easy essays to read—some were disorganized or underdeveloped—but many showed thought, effort, and a clear desire to interpret meaning. The best part of the week was watching colleagues light up when they read an especially well-crafted line of reasoning or a phrase that got it just right.

What Students Did Well

Thesis Writing

Many students recognized that complexity doesn’t mean confusion—it means contradiction or tension. The strongest essays began with defensible, thoughtful theses that named emotional or moral conflicts. Rather than listing techniques, students made interpretive claims: that Father Declan was caught between private desire and public obligation, or that he struggled to balance his role as a priest with his longing for companionship. These theses gave direction to the rest of the essay and were located up front, making it easier for readers to follow the argument.

Evidence and Commentary

Many students are also learning that quoting selectively allows for deeper analysis. Rather than long blocks of text, stronger essays pulled short, purposeful phrases from the passage and explored how those words contributed to meaning. A phrase like “the exhaled, ghostly haze of his own breath” worked well when students explained its significance instead of simply repeating it. The most effective responses followed the pattern: cite a detail, then spend time unpacking it.

At our table, we kept returning to the reminder that strong commentary should outweigh the quoted material—what we often call “twice the commentary.” When students stayed close to the text and took time to explain what each choice revealed about Declan’s inner world, their arguments became clearer and more convincing.

Paragraphing and Structure

Good structure supported good thinking. Students who crafted purposeful body paragraphs with clear topic sentences and focused analysis allowed their essays to build momentum. Paragraphs are our friends! Readers could move through the argument without getting lost in unrelated points or scattered observations.

Sophistication

The sophistication point is achievable! In this prompt, students demonstrated sophistication by sustaining an exploration of Declan’s emotional conflict. For example, students who connected his imagined dog with his yearning for human connection, or those who examined his hesitation as a product of both external expectations and internal doubt, often reached a deeper interpretation. Others achieved sophistication by situating Declan’s quiet struggle within broader human themes like guilt, longing, and sacrifice. It was not about being lofty; it was about being thoughtful.

Successful Lines of Reasoning

One of the most rewarding aspects of reading these essays was seeing how students used structure and logic to develop sustained, insightful arguments. This showed most clearly in the way they built successful lines of reasoning—not just mentioning literary devices, but using them to support a consistent interpretive thread.

Students built a clear argument around the idea that Declan’s guilt and self-doubt kept him from choosing happiness citing phrases like “He ought to get a dog” and “Was there anything written against a priest having a dog?” and followed with commentary about the moral tension he faced. This student didn’t stop at identifying repetition or punctuation; they explained why those techniques mattered in the context of Declan’s role and internal conflict. The result was a clear, persuasive line of reasoning.

Another approach would be in contrasting Declan’s physical environment with his emotional longing. Fog and rain symbolized limitation and isolation, while the imagined warmth of companionship—a lit window, someone asking how his day went—revealed hope and yearning. Many students used technique as a bridge to insight, showing how Haien crafted a character with both constraints and imagination. The commentary consistently connected evidence to meaning and kept the reasoning cohesive from start to finish.

These essays reminded me that the heart of literary analysis isn’t how many devices a student can name—it’s how well they can use those devices to say something meaningful. When each observation builds logically on the last, the reader can follow the argument as it grows.

Where Students Can Grow

Thesis Clarity

Many students are still offering checklist-style introductions. “Haien uses imagery, diction, and tone” might name techniques, but it doesn’t offer a perspective. A thesis should suggest what the author is revealing through those techniques—and students should avoid waiting until the conclusion to tell us. A strong thesis offers both the “how” and the “why,” right from the start.

Reading and Planning

Some essays faltered because students dove too quickly into analysis without first understanding what was happening in the passage. Before writing about tone or mood, students need to consider the literal context: Who is speaking? What just happened? What’s being imagined versus what’s real? Planning time helps prevent misreadings and leads to stronger interpretation.

Evidence and Commentary

While most students included evidence, not all connected it back to their claims. Quoting is only effective when paired with commentary that explains how the evidence supports the argument. Vague statements like “this shows how he feels” don’t go far enough. Instead, students should ask themselves: What exactly does this word or image suggest about Declan’s emotional state? How does it reflect his deeper struggle?

(Jill) Fleshing out the Father

This year’s prompt asked students to read the excerpt and analyze how the author uses literary elements and techniques to develop a complex portrayal of Father Declan. According to the rubric, students should aim to address the author’s use of at least two different literary techniques in their analysis of Father Declan. Most students made the connection between the unstable weather that Father Declan is driving through, his posture, and the descriptions of his parish house with his emotional status. In addition, a lot of students gave insightful commentary on the shift in tone from the dreary coldness of the drive home and the parish house to the warm affection of the possibility of a dog. Upper-level essays made specific connections between details and tone-shifts and how they revealed the tension of trying to reconcile his feelings of solitude and his need to connect to others with his need to be the priest everyone expects him to be. These essays would typically embed phrases into their analysis and discuss how the tension fleshes out the character of Father Declan and reveals specific traits and qualities of the priest. The lower-level essays would quote a line or sentence from the excerpt, followed by, “This shows that Father Declan is lonely,” or something of that nature. Lower-level essays say but do not actually show how. Essays that spent time and space quoting large sections of the passage were generally less specific or lacked depth in their analysis. Some of the highest-scoring essays never quoted an entire line or segment; they quoted a few key phrases within their own well-thought-out sentences, then spent their time discussing how these phrases demonstrate the complexity of Father Declan’s conflicting need for companionship and approval.

Takeaway: Remember that your scorers need analysis. Do not waste time trying to restate what is clearly stated or leaving your reader to infer that you know how the author is revealing a character. Instead, utilize the time you have to discuss how the author uses the weather or the posture or the parish house to reveal the character.

Meaning Shmeaning

One of the benefits of Q2 is that it is less about meaning and more about specific analysis. While it feels easy and important to give this passage a theme statement, it is, ultimately, unnecessary and wastes time that students could use to further their analysis of the character of Father Declan. Often, students would spend time discussing how “people” need human connection and should follow their desires, etc, taking the focus away from Father Declan and placing it in a general space where analyzing Declan’s internal conflict became secondary.

Takeaway: Save meaning of the work as a whole for Q3 and focus solely on what the Q2 prompt is asking you to analyze. While students were expounding upon what they felt was the theme of the excerpt thinking they were offering up insightful analysis, they were, in reality, securing (in most cases) a Row B score of two.

Haien used Diction

Of course she did. This particular passage had all kinds of diction according to our students. The diction was “melancholy,” “lonely,” “cold,” “warm,” “affectionate,” and sometimes, it was simply “used.” For the most part, students did a good job of pulling out the adjectives that demonstrated tension: the “dark, cold, and bleak” parish house that contrasts so starkly with the idea of a “warm, affectionate, and entertaining” dog. Upper-level essays took these words and made specific declarations of Father Declan’s conflict and what that conflict reveals about his character. Lower-level essays simply pointed out the use of these words and how they reveal his “sadness,” “solitude,” or “hope.” Diction was mentioned in the vast majority of the essays I scored, and many students discussed it successfully when they dug deep into the purposeful use of specific words. Other star techniques students referenced often were tone, weather, and juxtaposition. Similarly to diction, students who did more than just mention their use and (possibly) give an example from the text fared better on Row B than those who just pointed out their use.

Takeaway: Stick to devices with which you are familiar, and be sure to analyze the passage from a perspective of how the author’s use of said devices articulates what the prompt is asking you to examine. Keep it close to characterization for this one. It’s all about the Father.

Use your voice, but know your audience

The most exciting essays are those written by students with clear and confident voices. I was thrilled to award students an extra point for their essays if they wrote with a strong voice that didn’t follow the wah wah-wah wah of the five paragraph essay. This, of course, is not to say that those essays cannot score well; but stronger essays are organized by insight instead of device, and they offer a bit of personality. Those essays that relied heavily on clichés (“Right off the bat” comes to mind) or sentences with little variation were less likely to have a clear, confident voice and typically found their analysis equally mundane.

This use of personality, however, can work against you if you fail to remember your audience: high school and college English teachers from all over the US. Essays that are riddled with profanity or make sweeping assumptions about a specific demographic are typically frowned upon. The goal in writing an AP Literature essay is to write with confidence and maturity, knowing your audience is any one of a group of well-educated leaders in the world of academia. It is not likely that the College Board will choose an excerpt that will necessitate the use of profanity. In addition, now that essays are typed, students tend to word-vomit via qwerty and rarely have (or take) the time to proofread, leaving a lot (and I do mean A LOT) of typographical, spelling, and mechanical errors. While readers are not specifically grading on these aspects of the writing, we are instructed on Row B not to award a score of four if the writing has “grammatical and/or mechanical errors that interfere with communication.” While we understand this is a timed situation, students should still take care with both their language and their typing.

Takeaway: Write with confidence and personality, but not like you’re having a casual conversation. This is, after all, a college-level course. Imagine yourself writing for a scholarly publication, not social media. I tell my students often: your voice matters. I want to hear what you have to say. Your AP essays are moments for you to shine!

Believe me when I say that those who are scoring your essays are looking to reward you! We are all teachers ourselves, and want our students to be rewarded for what they do well; so when we come across those well-written essays, it really is such a thrilling read. We share with our scoring friends when we score a 6 or when we have a particular moment of shine from a student, even if the essay wasn’t a high-scoring one. We are on your side. We are rooting for you with every essay we open!

(Cindy) Takeaways for the Classroom

Here are some strategies I’m bringing back to my own instruction:

– Model short quoting with deep commentary: Use a single word or phrase and spend time unpacking it. Practice this together.
– Prioritize literal understanding first: Before jumping to technique, ask: What is happening? When? Why does it matter?
– Emphasize structure: Teach students to build coherent paragraphs with clear claims and purposeful development. Strong paragraphs start with a claim and use small snippets of evidence that support that claim.
– Use “twice the commentary” as a guideline: For every quoted detail, provide layered explanation that connects to the thesis.
– Encourage students to track the central conflict: Whether emotional or moral, the ability to follow tension through the passage often leads to sophistication.